TO YOU

It's been a month since you left this city.

It's also been 10 months of that historical day, isn't it?

From the moment you told me that you will leave, until I sent you away at the train station that day, I don't really feel that we were going to be away from each other. I even discussed about this with you, about your plans and strategies in case you take that job, I even helped you pack your things. I am supporting you. That's all I was thinking about.

But now, we are physically separated. Physically though. But not our souls. Do I miss you? Of course I do. Do I want to see you again soon? Sure, you don't even need to ask. Sometimes I even break, I shed some tears, because all of these mixed feelings that I'm not able to explain and tell anybody about.

But, will I prefer you to leave your job and come back here so we will not be physically separated anymore? No, I won't.

I don't want to be a person who kill your dreams and your goals just because of my selfishness. I support you to take that job and even if you have to leave this city, because I want what's best for you. I pray for that every single day. Your dream is my dream. Your goal is my goal.

I realize this 'distance' thing will not be easy. It will take a lot of efforts. It needs an extra strong commitment between to people. It will need a lot of energy and understandings. It will drain away our brain, our feelings, and our souls. It needs extra patience. But I will do it anyway. For you, for us. For our future. I pray everyday. I pray so that all of these efforts, worth. 

So far, we always fight for each other. So far, we always find reasons to come back to each other. So far... We are together.

So... I hope you are doing great. I hope you will always take care of your health. I hope you will always be cheerful, strong, and confident no matter how hard it is there. I hope you are not sad or afraid. I hope, you know, that I will always be here for you, that I will never get bored listening to your voice and your story, that I will never get bored listening to you talking to me about how you are doing each day, that I will always wait for my phone to ring and see a text from you. I hope your family are also doing great. 

I hope we will see each other again soon!

With all my heart,

Malang, July 17th, 2016,

A person who is 866 km away from you.

WOOF!

Ah! Long time no see!

Have been so busy lately with all of the craziness. 

Now I have some spare time to take a look at this 'secret hiding closet' of mine.

Maybe will have some posts to write again soon.

I consider that I may have some changes to make with this blog.

Just about two years ago, I was just a young lost soul who found a space to pour all of the heartache and confusion, which are this blog and my tumblr.

Therefore, I was so excited in writing and blogging, and at that time, I was really really motivated to promote this blog, I even searched the way how to get my blog clicked more and viewed more by people.

But now I realize that this blog will be more valuable to me if I just share about what I really feel and what I want to share that may be help other people in some ways.

I do not need thousands of views and comments.

I do not have to write posts that people need or want to read.

I just want to blog!